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Until I'm Saved, a Bolt fanfic
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Wed Jan 28, 2009 3:53 am    Post subject: Until I'm Saved, a Bolt fanfic Reply with quote

Notes before I begin:
1. Chapter notes may be irrelevant, as I am copying them as they are posted on FanFiction.net (if you want a spoiler, there ya go)
2. Will post 1 chapter a day.
3. If you have not seen Bolt, I recommend you see it before beginning to read this. http://www.movievix.com
4. There are mistakes in this, several of them involve wrong names given to wrong characters. You have been warned.
5. Make sure you have free time before reading!!! 30,000 words is 57 pages.


Character guide. OC = Other Character; owned by me.

Bolt - White American Shepherd (major; appears on all chapters save 2)
Isabel (OC) - Gold Husky (major; chapters 2 and 4 on)
Paul (OC) - Short dog trainer (major; chapters 2-9 and 12-14)
Penny - 13 y/o girl (major; chapters 1, 3, 4, 6, 7, and 12 on)
Mittens - Black cat, white underbelly (major; chapters 1, 3-6, 9, and 15)
Emily - Penny's mom (major; chapters 1, 3-7, and 12 on)
Joe (OC) - Police officer (major; chapters 6-8 and 12 on)
Rhino - Eccentric brown hamster (semi-major; chapters 1, 3-7, and 13 on)
Daisy (OC) - Dark red-furred collie (minor; chapters 11-14)
Auger (OC) - Energetic brown miniature boxer (minor; chapters 11-14)
Buck (OC) - Lazy white and brown basset hound (minor; chapters 11-14)
Geoff (OC) - Bumbling Scotsman #1 (minor; chapters 10-12)
Calvin (OC) - Store clerk (minor; chapters 4 and 10)
Charlie (OC) - Bumbling Scotsman #2 (extra; chapter 10)
Mindy (OC) - Penny's friend (extra; chapters 4 and 7)
David (Mike) (OC) - Penny's friend (name mistake) (extra; chapter 7)



Disclaimer

I do not own Bolt, Mittens, and Rhino. The only aspect of Penny or Emily Wallace that belongs to me is the name Emily and the name Wallace, the characters themselves belong to Walt Disney Pictures. Paul Osmond, Isabel, and all other characters belong to me.

Prologue

I saw Bolt and absolutely loved it, so I decided I'd make my first story a Bolt fanfic. I may not be the most amazing writer in the world, but I'm gonna give this a shot. I am rating this Teen as there will be some strong language, mild suggestive themes, mature dialogue, mild violence toward the end, and crude humour. However, I will preserve the innocence as best I can.

It has been 2 months since Penny Wallace (yup, gave them a last name) was rescued from the burning TV station by Bolt, and things have calmed down. Emily, Penny's mom (whom I also gave a first name), is looking for a boyfriend to hold down the fort since the money gained from 2 seasons of a TV show won't last forever. Bolt, in the meantime, falls in love with a show dog named Isabel at first sight. It's a love story about Bolt and Isabel. Many shenanigans and coincidences bring them together, but exactly what coincidences? Well, that's all the spoilers I'm giving. Let's begin!

I: Sapphire Eyes

Things have settled down since Penny Wallace and Bolt were reunited in that burning TV station. It has been worry-free paradise for Bolt, no confusion about who he is, as Bolt has mastered being a regular dog. Penny, 13, had been starting to come to that age where she’s hanging out with friends, so she had been in and out of the house many times, especially since fall break had just started. When things weren’t peaceful and quiet at the house, they were loud and chaotic, as many people would be coming to the house for many varying reasons of the furthest extremes; from wannabes wanting to be near someone famous to family relatives and friends wanting someone to hang out with. Whatever it was, Bolt usually loved all the publicity, attention, and often times, food or toys that came with it. Mittens liked the attention, but not the chaos. A lot of times, she would make her way into the attic to avoid it. Regardless, she was happier than she’d ever been. She’d come from being a lowlife alley cat to an animal in paradise… a “mutt” of a cat, if you will. She was quite a mooch, always wanting attention when Bolt got some, always around, purring loudly, wanting a hand to cuddle up with, and she had an uncanny ability to know what people want when they want it, such as when to act cute or when to fall asleep on someone’s head. Rhino, afraid he’d be stepped on, stayed in his cage when people were around. His cage was like a hamster mansion… he was living in royalty. It was 5-stories with something for him to do on each story. In it was a big red wheel, plenty of things to nibble on, a bed made from a cereal box, sort of like a house, and… his favourite, a 36” flat panel TV, within eyesight of his cage. It was always put on his favourite channels and, a lot of times, he’d escape and change the channel. Unlike typical hamsters, he loved to be held. He would rest atop people’s heads when they’d let him and sleep there for hours on end. Life was good at the Wallace house.

Penny’s mom, Emily lately had been a little frustrated with the economy. She’d talk a lot about selling her car for a hybrid, or moving out of suburbian Denver, CO to a house in the country, because the money accumulated from 2 seasons of a TV show would not last forever. Finally, Penny brought up the idea of finding a man that her mom can trust with her life to hold down the fort and get a job. It was a September afternoon at their house, the animals were left home alone for a few hours while Emily was out on a date with someone she met at the grocery store, and Penny was out with her friends. Bolt awoke from a nap on the living room couch to the sound of rain drenching the roof, he let out a yawn and sat up to stretch. Mittens had been sleeping on the other end of the couch, Bolt didn’t want to interrupt her nap, because Mittens would get cranky when she was woken up, so he dropped down lazily off the couch and trotted through the hallway. Pictures of the family had been hung on the greenish-brown oak walls. It always brought a smile to his face to know that he is the reason that Penny is still alive and, of course, that he is loved.

He pushed open the door to Emily’s room, where Rhino’s hamster cage was located. “What are ya doin’, Rhino?” he asked. “Shh! I’m watching this idiot try to escape the police! He ain’t gonna get away with it!” He pointed at the TV “See, this guy just ran a stoplight, but instead of just pulling over for a ticket, he’s running from the cops! I dunno if it’s that he doesn’t want to get a ticket so much as he’s hiding something in that car! YOU GET EM, COPPERS!!!! NEVER RUN FROM THE LAW!!!” Bolt hopped onto Emily’s soft bed, turned his head to the TV to see a ‘70s looking car just in front of a police surveillance camera placed inside the cockpit of the car. They were flying by other cars on the freeway so fast that they were nothing but blurs. “Is this acted or real?” “Oh, this is real alright! That’s the fun part!”

Bolt watched with Rhino until a commercial break arrived. “Alright, time to change the channel.” Rhino scurried up to the 4th level of his hamster condo and wriggled his way through a small gap between two of the bars in his mansion and then began to climb up to the roof of it, where the channel changer was usually kept. He used his right forepaw to click the channel up button. Slowly scrolling through them, he passed a football game, a cartoon, a show about cowboys, a cheesy karate film, until Bolt yelled “Stop! Right there!” On the screen was a commercial, but this commercial was for a dog show. “What is that?” Bolt said, very interested “Oh, I’ve seen those. Goofy, rich people in tuxedos show off how well-trained their dog is. I think they brainwash dogs into drones just to win a stupid trophy and bragging rights.” A female husky appeared on the screen. Her fur was golden and flowing. Her tail was plush. She had sapphire eyes and a nose that shone under the lights. The one black spot around her left eye was the only feature that wasn’t gold. Bolt’s jaw dropped and his eyes grew wide. His heart skipped a beat. This dog mesmerized him. He listened closely to the TV “Can Queen Isabel retake her throne after her absence last year? Or will someone else take home the gold? Find out live on the Animal Channel in the 33rd annual American All-Star Dog Show. Coming in January.” Rhino promptly commented on it, “Yeah, told you they are all drones. They prepare months for it… I mean jeez, it’s September. And most of them don’t even make it past the first round. You don’t belong there, Bolt. You got all you need right here! Family is better than fame, trust me... I’ve watched those behind the scene shows. Those stars will first act like they are so amazed and surprised they could make it to fame, next thing you know they are drunk, unconscious, and naked in the back of a Rolls-Royce. It’s really…” Bolt was still staring at the screen “…Isabel. What a beautiful name.” He said to himself “Bolt, you alright?”

“That golden fur… I… I…”

“Bolt, get a hold of yourself!” Rhino dove onto the bed and climbed up Bolt’s furry body to his head and waved into his eyes, still seemingly hypnotized. “Yoohoo! Anyone home?” Bolt finally shook it off, and then was questioning what happened. “What the hell was that? I… it was… she… I don’t know, I just felt like… she was everything.” Rhino rested on Bolt’s head and responded, “I’ve seen this many times before, let me show ya.” Rhino hopped onto the bed and made his way back to the mansion, climbed back to the top of it and walked to the channel changer and switched to channel 8. On the screen was a man and a woman, locking lips. “See, that’s called love. That guy right there is Joey and the girl he’s smooching is Candace. But what Candace doesn’t know is that Joey is seeing Alicia and Becky behind her back. Becky is good if Joey wants money and Alicia is good if Joey wants love, but this girl is very special to him, do you know why?”

“Why?”

“Because she’s his best friend’s half-sister. See, his friend Jason has been stealing credit for everything Joey does at work, and Joey wants revenge. This is his ace in the hole. If Jason wants to steal Joey’s work, he’s not gonna go whine to his boss, Dallas, or his mom, Whitney, he’s gonna take care of it himself! He’s gonna get that girl in his room, and then he’s gonna start…” “Alright, that’s enough, Rhino.” Mittens chimed in as she entered the room. Rhino was panting, excited by the plotline. “Calm down, Rhino. I’ll tell him.” Bolt was watching the couple on the screen. Joey had just admitted that he was using her, and Candace was in tears. “See that, Bolt? That’s called love. When the TV stations use you, you never get to stop and smell the roses, and that’s why I knew that someday I’d be telling you about this. I however, have been in love before. His name was Mr. Winkles, he was a house cat. I met him on the streets of New York, but I knew I’d never win him over. He was already taken for one, and an alley cat winning over a house cat is like… like a bad singer winning a Grammy… or George Bush counting to 5… it doesn’t happen. I’ll be hard pressed to ever see him again. That’s love, it feels great while it lasts and leaves a scar when it ends… however, if you get the right one, it can last a lifetime.” Bolt understood now. He was in love with this husky, he knew it. Her sapphire eyes, golden fur, and soft tail was amazing to her, but Mittens was right, he’d never have a chance against her… if he even found her, that is. Then he began to think what if she did… what if she did find him charming… what if she was sweet, sensitive, and understanding. A door opened, Emily and Penny were home, and Bolt began to welcome them, as always, with a series of playful barks. He charged out of Emily’s room and into the living room where he ran up to Penny. “Hey Bolt! How’s my good boy?!” Penny leaned down and Bolt gave her a bunch of slurps on the nose. After letting out a giggle, she stood back up “Mom, how’d the date go?”

“It went…” she hesitated

“…it went…?

“Awful. Charles is not who I need in this house. He’s lived off his friends for the last few years because he is too lazy to work on his own. It’s pathetic! I’d never trust him to be the man of this house!”

“I’m sorry to hear that, but… though this may sound mean, I was kind of hoping it would end up like that, do you know why?”

“Why is that?” She looked kind of puzzled and surprised her daughter would say that. “Because… well, I wanted it to be a surprise… but my friend’s dad is a friend with this dog trainer guy. He’s kind of short, but I hear he’s very mature and takes responsibility for himself… he doesn’t live off his friends.”

“Okay, who is this guy?”

“Paul Osmond.”

“Paul Osmond? The winner of the 2005 and 2006 American All-Star Dog Show?”

“Yeah. I hear he lives right around here. He’s single and looking for a special lady. Who knows? Maybe you’re his special lady.”

“Well, did you get his number? I mean… so I can schedule a date?”

“Well, here’s the surprise. Tomorrow night at Walker’s Café, 7p.m., he will be waiting for you.”

“My daughter got me a blind date? How silly! But that sounds great! Thank you!”

“Don’t mention it.”

Bolt and Mittens were listening while, simultaneously, trying to get attention from them. Emily sat down on the couch and started petting Mittens. “Aww, how’s momma’s girl?” Mittens meowed and purred as Emily ran her hand across her back. Penny walked into the living room from the kitchen “Hey Bolt! Sorry buddy, we can’t play outside because of all the rain. But look what I got you…” Bolt wagged his tail and barked excitedly, he loved surprises. Penny brought out a brand new squeaky toy from behind her back. It was shaped like a bone. Bolt jumped, trying to snag it from her, but Penny tossed it on the couch. Bolt scampered after it and immediately began munching on it. Penny laughed and sat on the couch next to him and scratched his belly, “You’re such a good boy, Bolt. I’d never choose anyone over you!” Mittens approached her and began purring. “Aww, you too Mittens.” She pet Mittens, reducing her jealousy. “I love you guys.”


Last edited by Hihey9989 on Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:06 am; edited 5 times in total
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Thu Jan 29, 2009 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

First off, I want to thank you all for the kind reviews I've gotten. After I read the rules for this place I felt a little intimidated, I'll admit, and was not expecting the greatest reviews. Just for the record, I have written up through chapter 6 at this point.

Hoped you enjoyed chapter 1. Not so much dialogue in chapter 2 (probably the shortest chapter as well), which is why I will upload 3 right after I upload this one. This one introduces who exactly this Paul Osmond guy is. And, of course, we “meet” Isabel... from a human's perspective at least. We won't see her from a dog's perspective until the mid point of chapter 5, for the record. Let's begin!

II: Inside the Mind of Perfection

Paul Osmond was a short, skinny guy, no taller than 5’4”. He had black hair always styled professionally, likewise, his wardrobe was always one like he was going on an interview. His face was thin and bony. Despite his peculiar appearance, he was a very skilled dog trainer. The exterior of his house did not have the look of it, however, which is strange considering he owned a 2-time National Champion, named Isabel. Leaves covered the tattered roof, and it wasn't larger than an average bungalow. It was a little out of the way; at the bottom of a mountain on the edge of a forest. Though he only had one dog, he owned an independent business there in training dogs. However, he was too stressed to do so lately, his desire to make a comeback in the dog show was getting the best of him, and he was worried that his 6 year old husky was getting too old and was not in top form anymore. His dog was a classy girl; she would not accept a mutt. She loved the dog shows because it gave her a chance to get out and be social. Every year she would find a new mate, but since her overwhelming victory in 2006, she had been less obedient to her owner because he seemed to care less about her, and care more about the dog show, which may have been why she lost so humiliatingly in 2007, and why she returned home with no mate. Isabel showed no class and little obedience in the 2007 show, and Paul was afraid it was old age getting to her. Paul’s name was all that got him to the state semi-finals, where the judges take no crap. If you screw up, you’re out.

Paul was sitting at his desk in his cluttered study, filling out paperwork for the dogs he trained recently. Papers were all over the place. The only traces of organization were the 2 rolodexes on his light brown, pinewood desk. He was constantly getting phone calls and knocks at the door, but he was pretty much done with his business for the rest of the year; his leftover funds were barely enough to make it through the end of the year, but he was more concerned about being stuck in a situation where he believed Isabel was too old. He didn’t know what to do. Isabel came up to the desk, whimpering. “What?” he groaned, Isabel eyed the half-eaten sandwich on his desk. “You want food? Here.” He said grumpily. He tossed the sandwich into his huge living room and slammed the door after his dog left the room. He dropped his pen and put his face to his hands, frustrated. “What am I gonna do? I only have 4 and a half months. I need a new dog, but where’s that money gonna come from? If I buy a new one, I’d have to close my business and sell all my dog stuff.” He slammed his hands to his forehead, “Come on, Paul… think!” Just then, an idea popped into his head. “Breeding! If I can get a dog to mate with Isabel, she will get pregnant. If it takes 2 months for puppies to develop, and a month to wean them, I will still have a month and a half to train them! It’s perfect! But… where am I gonna get a sophisticated, trained male? If I have her mate with a mutt, the puppies are sure to get the mutt’s dominant genes! Ugh! I need to think on this one.”

Paul rolled his office chair away from the desk and walked out of his study and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed a fresh can of coffee grounds and began to scoop them into a filter. Isabel trotted up from behind, wanting some attention. “Isabel, I won’t let you down again. I swear on it. You will get a classy, trained mate and we will have another golden trophy to be proud of.” Isabel could care less about the trophy, she just wanted to have someone that cared. “Maybe that Emily girl is a dog person. Maybe she’ll know what to do.”

Paul made a cup of coffee, dragged along to his couch and sat down, thinking. “I don’t have time for a stray. It’s already fully-grown, there’s no way I can manipulate that kind of dog fast enough. What if I… what if I found a trained dog? It’s already integrated into his genes, if I can somehow obtain a stray, trained, dog. But where am I gonna get one of those? I’ll be damned if one of those adoption centers have one.” He switched on the TV, hoping it would give him some sort of inspiration. He scrolled through the channels until he came a behind-the-scenes commercial for Bolt. “Augh! Just what I need! Don’t make me jealous now!” He heard the TV announcer, “Linda Goldman replaced Penny Wallace as the star of the show 2 months ago…” “Penny Wallace? Isn’t her mom…” Paul rushed to his study and grabbed his rolodex. He pulled out a card on which he had written the name of the woman he’s going out with. “…Emily Wallace”, he stated. “That’s it! I need Bolt! Emily will let me have Bolt! Like that idea, Isabel?” Isabel wasn’t listening; she had lost interest.
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Rebekah 10
Unchained
Unchained


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 953
Location: Northern Arizona

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 12:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I still haven't seen this movie but reading this makes me want to see it more. I loved how much description you put into these two chapters.

I think the character's work really well in your story and it is just so believeable and creative. Sourire

I can't wait till you put up the next chapter
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Fri Jan 30, 2009 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rebekah 10 wrote:
I still haven't seen this movie but reading this makes me want to see it more. I loved how much description you put into these two chapters.

I think the character's work really well in your story and it is just so believeable and creative. Sourire

I can't wait till you put up the next chapter


Thank you Très content Was looking for this before posting the next chapter. Since this board is so... er... dead, I may post a chapter every 2 days instead of 1. This ain't ff.net Clin d'oeil
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Sat Jan 31, 2009 1:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This chapter is where things begin to get a little more interesting. Emily and Paul go out on their first date. By the end of this chapter, you'll have a pretty good idea who the bad guy is, and you may have other ideas of what's to come in the next two chapters as well, but I'm not gonna give it away, let's begin!

III: First Encounter

After a day-long rainstorm, the Friday sunset finally tried to break through the clouds, Bolt and Mittens were watching from the windowsill. The rain on the grass glistened with a touch of gold from it. Bolt loved watching the sunset, it always made him happy on rainy days. However, this time, Bolt was troubled. “Mittens, you think I’ll find love someday?” He asked grimly.

“I dunno, Bolt. I’m just a cat. Not a fortune teller. But here’s what I think, I think it’s just the thrill of the moment. In a few days, you’ll realize again that all the love you’ll ever need is right here with your family. That’s all I need.”

“Yeah…”

Bolt was still thinking about Isabel. She defined beauty to him. She was the girl of his dreams. “Still thinking about her? Everyone has a celebrity crush, Bolt. Don’t feel like you’re alone.”

“No, I’m not just thinking about ‘her’. Didn’t you hear mom yesterday? She said that that guy that owns Isabel lives right around here. She says that she is going out with her tonight. Do you think I may have a chance to… talk to her?”

“Who knows? Maybe you will if mom dates this guy long enough. Me, I could care less about another dog. I’m looking forward to having someone to call dad.” Bolt was silent. He didn’t know what to say, he just wanted to meet Isabel and that’s all that mattered to him. “Meh… you’ll be fine.” Mittens insisted as she hopped off the windowsill. “By the way, dinner’s ready, Bolt.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“Well, you gotta eat sometime. And if you don’t, I will.”

“Go nuts, Mittens. I’m not in the mood.”

“Wow, you really are serious about this girl, aren’t you? Oh well, more food for me.” Rhino rolled his new wheel, which was tinted green and much larger than the last one he had, into the living room and over to the windowsill. “Ahh, Bolty, old buddy, see what a 3 second glance can do to ya? I never believed in love at first sight, but you have sure proven me wrong.”

“It’s not just that I’m thinking about her, I’m also thinking about what happens if I meet her. I mean, what if she just thinks I’m some old stray adopted by some average family? She’s a 2-time national champion.”

“See, that’s one reason why Hollywood relationships never last. Some of the celebrity marriages don’t last one night.” Bolt paused, letting Rhino's words sink in. “You’re right. Why am I so worked up over this? I’m gonna put it behind me, I’ll probably never meet her.”

It was 6p.m. Emily was getting ready for her date with Paul. She was wearing a black skirt with white polka-dots on the lower half, her hair was in a bun, and she wore a noticeably large amount of makeup. Her shoes were dress shoes, similar to those worn to church, and she had on long stockings. “Wow, mom! You look great!” Penny exclaimed. “Thanks, honey. I just want to make a good first impression. Let’s hope this one goes good.” She took a deep breath and then waved good-bye to Penny. Bolt heard the engine start outside and hopped off the windowsill and slowly walked to the front window. He placed his paws on the glass to lift himself up to it, and watched as the big Caravan pulled out of the driveway and down the road. Mittens watched from the couch, knowing Bolt was still thinking about Isabel, but not daring to open her mouth and comment. She knew in her heart it would not last. In a few days, Bolt would be back to the way he was. Penny caught a glimpse of Bolt watching mom leave the house, and approached him, palm out to pet him. “It’s okay, buddy. She’ll be back soon.” Bolt didn't move an inch and continued staring out the window. “You wanna play, Bolt? Huh? Wanna play with Mr. Carrot?” Bolt could not resist Mr. Carrot. He leaned down on his front legs with his backside in the air to show he wanted to play. Penny threw Mr. Carrot and Bolt ran after it.

“Paul Osmond?” Emily asked a man at table 11 at Walker’s Café. He was sitting with his back turned to Emily, eyeing the TV behind him. He slowly turned around, and immediately looked Emily right in the eye. A small smile began to tug at his mouth. “Yes.” “Oh, good.” They locked in a brief stare, then Paul suddenly turned his head to the chair across the table, motioning his hand, and said after a pause, “Would you like a seat? I’ve been looking forward to metting you, Emily… uh… Wallace, is it?” “Yes. I know, the name may be familiar. My daughter was on a TV show.”

“Yes. I’ve heard. What show was that again?”

“Bolt the Superdog.”

“I had a feeling! You looked rather familiar.”

“Oh….” Emily said blushing. “What did you notice that was familiar about me?”

“It’s your eyes. They look like diamonds. You have the most wonderful smile, too. I think your daughter takes after you.” Emily was blushing a little more now and her cheeks turned pink. “I think I’m gonna like this date.” Emily whispered to herself. “So… is the dog yours?”

“Yeah, he and my daughter, Penny, are really close. Bolt will sometimes cuddle up in her bed with her, and Penny is the only person that he trusts with the vacuum cleaner.”

“Aww. I love hearing about people and their pets. I love animals. That’s why I got into dog training.” The waiter approached and they both ordered. Paul ordered what Emily ordered, hoping to gain a piece of her heart. He even offered to pay the bill.

After their meal, they both exchanged a hug and thanked each other for the dinner. “I had a wonderful time. We really should go out again. How about I pick you up next time?”

“Actually, I kind of had an idea. I thought I would pick you up next time. I wanted to make an offer.”

“Offer?”

“I wanted to… train Bolt for you.”

“He’s already trained.”

“No, I don’t mean that stuff he learned in Hollywood. I mean, like, the stuff you see in dog shows, like obedience and the like.”

“Well, that’s very kind of you. You have a big heart. But the problem is…”

“Oh, forget I asked. I’m sorry. I just love working with animals.” Emily sensed false sincerity in his voice. He didn’t seem all that embarrassed for asking, and that was his downfall in the lie. “What's the real reason?” She had a knowing look on her face, and the words came out plain and unbroken. Paul let out a long, embarassed sigh. “My dog, Isabel... she is too old to take part in the dog show.”

“But she's only...”

“She's 6, 7 in November. That's far too old for a dog to take part in any competition. Age wears you down early. Do you know that human's life expectancies are naturally the mid-40s? But, because of all these new ways of keeping healthy, we are able to live almost a century! Do you know what 7 in dog years is? 49. How often do you see 49-year-olds in the olympics?”

“Paul. I would love to help you, but Bolt is not a dog show dog. Bolt's a house dog.”

“It's not Bolt I plan to use in the dog show. I just need a trained dog to pass on the dominant genes to Isabel's puppys. I don't need a 50/50 chance of being able to easily train a puppy at this point.”

“Listen, Paul. I would love to lend you Bolt for a week, maybe longer... as long as you need, perhaps. It isn't that I don't want to do it, it's that I'm worried about Bolt. He would be so confused and so lost. He is nothing without Penny.”

“Well, I respect that. I guess I'll find another way. Thank you for knocking the idea kindly, though.”

“It's no problem. So, when do you want to go out again?”

“Well, this place has gotta be my one of my favourite restaurants. How does same place Sunday night sound?”

“Same time?”

“Of course.”

“It sounds wonderful.” Paul answered softly and immediately.

Emily returned home that night in a great mood and with a wonderful outlook on the future. Paul returned home with mixed feelings. He was happy that he may have found the girl he was looking for; a kind, sensitive, loving woman, but at the same time, he was disappointed that it looked as if he was going to have to cancel his plans to avenge his fall of 2007 in the All-Star Dog Show, and his disappointment showed over his optimism. He walked into his house, slowly closed the door behind him, and fell over on his couch, dejected.

“I'm sorry, girl. I know we've worked all year for this, but it looks like we ain't gonna be doing any dog shows this year.” Isabel barked at him and gave him a few short licks on the face. “Stop that, Izzy. I'm not in the mood. We're just gonna have to do it the old fashioned way; cross our fingers, search hard, and hope for the best.”
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encino
Good Enough
Good Enough


Joined: 15 Jun 2008
Posts: 181

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pretty sweet dude, that's more words than I ever wrote on paper in school altogether. Ever think about writing as a career?
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Mike2000
On Fire
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Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 722
Location: Mexico City, MX

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, this is very good! I agree with Encino on this, you could easily make writing a profession.

I really like the way you're describing your scenes and the characters. Haven't seen the movie yet, so I can't say if the dialogues are in-character or not; but the use of language, the diction, and the tone and rythm of all the dialogues are very natural and fluid; they really look, "feel" like actual dialogues spoken by two or more people, and that's not easy thing to do on writing. Congrats!


I'm really looking forward to see what happens next; and I'm sure we'll see some action and suspense here!

Congrats, two thumbs up! Bravo Bravo Liking it very much so far! Très content Cool
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:23 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks so much!! *man hug* Très content

Well, it's actually one of the things I really hate writing; dialogue. But, I actually have gotten my best feedback from it.

Action? Chapter 14. Suspense? Chapter 9, 14, and every single chapter of Vertigo Fier

PS: Actually I have a pending job. There's an 80% chance that I will be an author for a newsletter come April Clin d'oeil
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Mike2000
On Fire
On Fire


Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 722
Location: Mexico City, MX

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:52 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Great! If that newspaper has an online version, and you happen to publish your writings there, you already have an international reader here. Clin d'oeil Bravo
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 2:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mike2000 wrote:
you already have an international reader here. Clin d'oeil Bravo


Well, can't say I didn't already have one XD

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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Sun Feb 01, 2009 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hint: Don't forget the opening conversation of this chapter. That's all I'm saying. In this chapter, Bolt begins to get over Isabel while Paul... well... he makes a bit of an episode, reaching a pinnacle of his frustration (which is where the title comes from) on his second date with Emily. What kind of episode? Let's begin!

IV: Pinnacle

It had been nearly 3 days now since Bolt's first encounter with Cupid's timely arrow, and Isabel still plagued his thoughts. Not quite so often, but she still hung around in his memory. The skies were clear and blue, and Bolt was relaxing as the midday sunlight flooded the front porch, tongue out and panting lightly. Penny and her friend Mindy were sitting next to him, both text messaging friends. “Did you get a text message from Sam? He said he sent you a picture of his new dog.” asked Mindy

“Sam? His parents trust him with a dog?” Penny responded, flabbergasted.

“Apparently so. They say it'll teach him responsibility.”

“Man, I hope they think twice or Sam pulls maturity out his ass. Otherwise I don't see that dog in that house more than 2 weeks. What's his name?”

“The dog?” Penny let out a sigh, then resorted to sarcasm, “No, the walrus on Palm Beach. Yes, the dog!” “Auger I think.” Answered Mindy.

“Auger? Like... a drill?”

“Yeah. At least that's what I think the dog's name is.”

“That's...” Penny was interrupted by Bolt licking her face with his wet tongue. “Aww, buddy. Don't worry about Auger, you're always gonna be my favourite dog.” Bolt yipped happily and gestured to play. “Hey, Mindy, take my cell phone inside. I'm gonna play with Bolt a little bit.”

Penny got Mr. Carrot and began to toss it across the yard to Bolt. Not long after they started having their fun, a black car pulled up in the driveway. It was a sleek looking station wagon with shining metallic paint, as if it was brand new. It strangely resembled a hearse. Bolt began barking at the car. Mittens, who was relaxing on the porch swing, was interrupted by Bolt's yelling “Stranger! Stranger! What do you want!? Go away!” She yelled at Bolt, “I don't think the car is going to eat Penny! Put a cork in it!” The car horn honked twice, and the driver's side door began to open. Nothing seemed to happen for a few moments until a short man, about the size of the car, began to walk slowly out of it. He leaned against the opposite side of the car from the yard and called “Here, Bolt! Come on over here, Bolt!” Bolt approached cautiously as the man held out his hand. Bolt sniffed his hand and then let it pet him. Bolt wagged his tail happily, he know exactly who this was. “Paul! You're early!” Emily yelled from the front door. She ran out toward the car. “I am early because... you know... I really felt like we connected.” Paul answered. “I felt the same way, Paul. I was thinking I'd help you look for a trained dog so maybe you could have a chance to breed your dogs and maybe get them into the dog show.”

“I was going to ask you myself. How funny is that? Well, do you know any places that may have some trained dogs?”

“I know a few. I don't know if they have any trained dogs, but we can sure try.”

They both entered the car and drove off down the street. Penny invited Mindy inside, Bolt and Mittens followed.

Paul and Emily searched the animal shelters of downtown Denver for hours. They only found three places that sold pre-trained dogs, all at prices that were through the roof. All of the other places, such as the shelters, pounds, and rescue facilities, only had normal, untrained dogs or rescued strays. After 3 hours of searching, the sun began to set, and Paul's frustration began to show as they entered the last animal shelter in Denver. Paul walked up to the front desk, and rang the bell to get the clerk's attention. A clerk walked out of a back room, in which dogs were barking up a storm. “How may I help you?” the orange-haired man asked politely. “We're looking for a pre-trained male dog.” said Emily. “Is that right? Well, we don't sell trained dogs here, but I can show you around back and maybe interest you in one of our classier breeds.” the cashier stated without a stutter, as if he's had to answer this question before. “You know what, Calvin... don't bother.” Paul interrupted. “Oh, hey Paul! Been a while! Wow, you've grown!”

“Don't play games with me, Cal. I just want you to realize something.” Emily then said, “I'm gonna wait in the car...” and left promptly. Paul stepped onto the nearby footstool placed conveniently against the front desk, increasing his height, and leaned over the desk into Calvin's face. His hands were placed neatly together atop the desk, his face held a contented smile disguising his frustration. As he began to speak, he began to grit his teeth, which gave Cal the confirmation that he was not happy. “Cal. Do you realize exactly what happens when my male isn't trained? Oh, that's right! You don't. When my male isn't trained, my female gives birth to what I like to call a 50/50 dog. All of the male's dominant genes will poison my Isabel's recessive genes. You know what that creates? A MUTT!!!” His hands, which were once placed neatly on the front desk were now on Calvin's shoulders. He tugged his collar so Calvin's face was close to his. Calvin's expression was one of puzzle and terror. He was at a loss for words. “Oh well, I guess not even the world's greatest dog trainer's dogs can be perfect.” Paul breathed sarcastically, a somewhat sadistic smile upon his visage, eyes piercing into him. He then shoved Calvin back behind his desk and quickly stepped off the footstool and gestured his middle finger to Calvin as he stormed out the door.

Paul did not take Emily to dinner, too frustrated to do so. Emily just assumed it was a bad day for him and scheduled a third date with him at Ted's Steakhouse on Wednesday night. He drove to his home on the mountainside, slammed the car door, and stomped into his house. Isabel was there waiting for him at the door as he entered, holding her food bowl with her mouth. “Want food?” He stormed into the kitchen, took a container of chicken salad out of the refrigerator, removed the lid and tossed the full container on the kitchen floor, not even caring that he made a mess. “There ya go. Eat.”

Paul fell back onto his bed, “There's gotta be some way I can get a trained dog! But how?” He went deep into thought. “What if... what if I simply borrowed one and returned it after Isabel got pregnant?” A greedy smile began to tug at his mouth. “What if one of those show dogs just suddenly went missing? Naah, I can't... they'd catch me for sure. Those places have surveillance cameras all over the place.” Isabel began barking from outside Paul's door, wanting attention. “Pipe down, girl! You're as jumpy on me as.... Bolt.....” The sudden inspiration manifested it's way into him like a tapeworm. The name spilled forth from him like whiskey into a shot glass. The deed was to be done.... tonight...
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Tue Feb 03, 2009 1:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just to build some suspense for later, I loved how chapter 9 came out =). I am in the process of writing #10.

Chapter 5 may be the longest chapter I will write. Have any ideas about what this “deed” is, and exactly what did Emily think of Paul's episode? In this chapter, Bolt meets Isabel. How? Let's begin!

V: The Pursuit

Bolt was lying down in his indoor doghouse, which he used as a bed. It was soft and fuzzy. It was nearing 11p.m. and Bolt was all but ready to fall alseep, laying in his doghouse. Rhino was a different story it seemed. Rhino was in his ball on the couch watching some sci-fi thriller, “This is redonkulous, you can totally see the wires!” Penny came in the living room and grabbed Rhino's ball and began to make her way back to Emily's room, causing Rhino to throw a little bit of a fit. “No, wait! They were just about to show who created the virus! I wanted to see if I predicted right!” Bolt chuckled as he overheard Rhino yelling. Mittens pranced over to Bolt's “house” and started to break the ice. “Heh. You just can't get that guy away from the TV.” She started. “Yeah, but if you ever look at Penny or mom putting him in his pen at night, he's asleep in a heartbeat.” Bold responded. “So, how's that girl hunt going?”

“Oh, I dunno, Mittens. I heard mom say that the guy was a little... well... aggressive. I dunno if that guy is gonna be our dad.”

“Well, sometimes aggression can be good.”

“Not this time, Mittens. She was not too happy about it. I don't think they're gonna see each other anymore.”

“Well, I've heard differently. I heard Penny say to that friend of her's that mom and Paul are going back out again on Wednesday.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. I've heard that she really likes him.” Mittens started to prance away toward Penny, desiring attention. “Likes him?” Bolt said to himself. He turned his head to Emily. She was laying on the couch watching TV. She did not look all that happy, or sad, but there was apparently some sort of connection being formed between them, despite Paul's bad day. Bolt began to doze off shortly thereafter.

Around 3a.m. everyone in the house was asleep. Not a sound was made. Outside, however, was a different story. The sleek black car drove up to the foot of the front yard. Paul, dressed all in black, wearing gloves, boots, and a bandana, then quietly escaped his car and tiptoed to the sidewalk in the Wallace's front yard. “It's too easy...” he said to himself. He pulled out a cigarette, lit it, took a puff, and blew the smoke down, revealing a field of lasers lined up parallel to the front of the house. “Burglar detection. Wonderful... if only I can somehow confuse it.” He tiptoed back to his car and began to dig around inside it, looking for something he could use. He eyed the rearview and passenger view mirrors, and got a clever idea. He removed both mirrors, held them to his side where the lasers would catch him, and slowly slid forward. It worked, the mirrors deflected the, now faint as the cigarette smoke began to clear, lasers. He successfully traversed his way through the burglar detection system, stood up, and whispered to himself as he looked toward the house “Just across the lake of fire lies a promised land!” Paul shoved the mirrors into his coat pockets and continued his pursuit. He approached the door, and, right before opening it, heard something. It sounded like a whirring noise. He looked up to see a small white box with a red light and screen attached to the wall next to the door. “Damn! I knew it! Once I touch the door, the burglar alarm will go off!” He was too short to reach the box himself, so he looked around for a way to lift himself. He found a large, plastic bucket at the far end of the porch, and used it to increase his height. He read the warning on the box 'Do not expose to smoke.' “Looks like I've got a time limit...” he whispered to himself. He pulled out another cigarette and laid it on a ledge underneath the box, then lit it and blew out the flame once the cigarette began to burn and smoke. “...the time it takes to smoke a cigarette.” The whirring then began to die down. The red light on the box dimmed, and finally, it beeped twice. The screen on the box then read 'Error receiving HomeSafe Intruder Detection System signal. Failed to activate TouchScan. System jamming.' “B-I-N-G-O was his name-o!” Paul whispered to himself.

Paul quickly and quietly entered the house, walked through the kitchen and into the living room. He approached Bolt's doghouse, from which Bolt's head poked out as he slept. “But B-O-L-T was his name-o!” Bolt stirred, Paul gasped and froze immediately. Bolt did not awaken, however, just rolled over a little in his sleep, placing his head back into the doghouse. Instead of taking just Bolt and risking waking him up, Paul reached for the handle on the doghouse. He grabbed it and slowly wrapped his fingers around it. Holding his breath, he began to lift the doghouse slowly and carefully. He began to tiptoe out, but not before stepping on Mittens's tail, which caused her to let out a wail. This triggered Bolt to wake up, and he looked outside his doghouse and realized... he wasn't on the ground anymore. He looked around in a panic to see where he was going as he noticed that he was beginning to leave the house. He barked, trying to get someone's attention. Panicking, Paul ran down the front sidewalk, setting off the burglar alarm with a series of loud, earsplitting, beeps. “Damn it!” he yelled out in fear and frustration. He scrambled for his car keys in his pocket as the front porch light to the house went on. “Hello? Who's there?” Emily questioned cautiously from behind the front door, peering out the windows on it into the darkness. Paul slammed the door to his car, started the engine, tossed Bolt, still in his doghouse, into the backseat, and mashed the gas as Emily began to make her way down the sidewalk. All Emily saw as she made it to the end of the sidewalk were the brakelights, as the car made a sharp left, speeding away. “Bolt... no!” Mittens yelled, realizing that Bolt had been kidnapped.

Bolt slid back and forth on the slippery leather seats of Paul's car. He found himself struggling to keep on all fours. The powerful brakes caused him to fall into the leg room of the back seat each time the car came to a red light or stop sign, and right as he would recover, the car's strong torque would slam him against the seatback. This was nothing like riding in Penny's lap in the open freeway; Emily was a much calmer driver. Another notable difference was the lack of light, so Bolt didn't know where he was or what he was sitting on.

After what seemed to be an eternity of bumps and bangs, the car came to a stop. Bolt opened his eyes, quivering with fear. Outside the window were the tops of oak and pine trees, the air was noticably colder. After a few brief moments, Bolt heard the car's shifter grind into gear and the keys jingle as they were touched, the rumbling of the engine then stopped and the driver's door swung open. The figure walked with haste up to the door Bolt was closest to, and he popped the handle, but it jammed. He began to struggle to open it, jerking the handle. Bolt ducked his head and closed his eyes, praying that this was all a bad dream. After a few moments, the handle broke off and the figure began to loudly curse and scream. He slammed the broken handle down on the pavement in frustration, then peeked into the window, seeing Bolt's head hidden underneath his forepaws, body quivering in terror. “You hold it right there. I need to replace the door handle.” Bolt recognized the figure's voice. This was Paul... and that means... Bolt then caught a scent in the car. He slinked around in the darkness, using his keen nose to guide him around what little room he had. It was then he realized that he could see out of the car and into the trees through a small area behind the backseat windows. He began to rise to his feet again, and the window grew larger as he rose. “Is this a...” he whispered to himself. “...Station wagon? Yes, it is.” A female voice completed for him. To Bolt, this was no normal voice, this was a soft voice, one of reason and compassion, one of aid and comfort. “Is this... am I... in heaven? Are you an angel?” He asked quietly, looking around over his shoulders, scanning for any life besides him. Just then, a large figure leaped with great precision and smoothness over the seatback from the back of the car to the seat Bolt was in. Bolt jumped back, startled, and then sank down to paw level. “How did... what the... where... who...” Bolt stuttered, trying to find his voice to make out the words. The figure giggled briefly and then began, “I'm sorry, I'm forgetting my manners. I didn't mean to scare ya, I just get excited when I get around anyone.” The figure sank down to paw level, just as Bolt had. Bolt was silent, still shaken up. A light turned on from the house, Bolt let out a slight whimper and hid his face. “Oh calm down, it's just Master. He turned the light on. Then again, this must be pretty scary for you, so I understand. Don't worry, nobody is going to hurt you.” Bolt stopped shaking, though he remained silent and kept his head covered by his forepaws. He stood still in this position for another half minute, the female next to him simply waited in silence. He could feel the her warm breath against his paws. Everything was very still... at peace.

Eventually, he finally lifted his head to see the girl of his dreams right in front of him. “There ya are, little guy!” Bolt gasped and began shaking again, this time in amazement, “You... you... you're.... Isabel from the dog show! Oh my...” he slowly and almost incoherently made out. “Yes, and you're Bolt, the former superdog.” She said softly, “So, you're the new purebred puppet of Master's. How's it feel to know that you're gonna be used for... never mind. I'm just frustrated with this whole thing. I'm sorry he had to drag you into this.”

“You're... you're not stuck up at all, are you?”

“Model dogs are different from model humans. For one, model dogs are smart. And, of course, they have a sense of what's right and wrong. Dogs aren't exposed to all of the pressures humans are exposed to, so I always feel great to be a dog.”

Bolt thought about what she said. “Wow. You really are smart. But... purebred? I'm not...” Bolt was discontinued by a noisy power drill outside the car. Paul's voice yelled over the sound of the drill, “Sorry, guys! Just fixing the handle. I'll bring you both inside in just a second.” Bolt did not have a good feeling about this guy. Black clouds seemed to cover the sky behind his short stature. The drill shut off and he began to hear rain splashing on the roof. Bolt and Isabel waited in the car patiently until Paul popped the handle again, and the door smoothly and efficiently opened. Bolt's original instinct to run, which he would have done had the handle not broken, had evapourated. Bolt felt like he was safe... he was with the girl of his dreams, and who would turn away in that situation?

Paul opened the screen door to the house. The exterior, with rusted aluminum siding walls and leaves all over the deteriorating roof shingles, looked nothing like the inside. Bolt's jaw dropped in amazement upon first sight of the interior of the house. Aside for a few spots, most of the house was clean from what he could see. “Make yourself at home, Bolt.” Paul instructed, sounding exhausted. Paul dragged his way into the bedroom and closed the door. Bolt then stepped forward until he could see the living room. There was a slight drop from the kitchen, immediately inside the doorway, to the living room on the right, which was huge. Everywhere there were dog bones, chew toys, and other things dogs would love. On the far end of the room was a large, black leather couch in front of a 72” large screen TV, not flat panel like he was accustomed too, but twice as large. He dropped off the ledge into the room and looked around. To the right were five large dog beds, made perfectly and clear of stray fur from shedding, and at the far end was a door, beyond which was a desk, and the entire room was cluttered with paper, from the wooden desk to the marble floors. “That's his study, he doesn't like new dogs going in there because they always seem to pee on the floor.” Isabel started, “But, you won't have to worry about that, since you are trained to do that outside.” Bolt couldn't keep the question in him any longer, “Uh... Isabel... Where am I? Why am I here?”

“You're in the home of two-time National All-Star Dog Show champion, Isabel. Master makes this place dog paradise. But...” She tried to make out the words, but all that escaped her was a frustrated sigh. “What?”

“Master has not been himself for quite awhile. After I won the championship in 2006, it's like he's been taken over by someone else. He used to be this great guy, but he's gotten so worked up over this dog show that... even I have been starting to... have a distaste for him. I don't even remember what it's like to have a normal life and an owner who seems to care.”

“That's sad. I'm sorry, Isabel. But what does he want with me?”

“Well, let's just say he needs your genes.”

“My jeans?”

“Yeah, he needs the genes of a trained dog. That's all I'm gonna say.”

“But... I don't.... I mean, Isabel, I'm not...”

“I... really don't want to talk about it. Come take the bed next to me.”

Bolt approached the bed at the edge of the room and began to trot around in it, finding the right position to sleep. “Wow, this is comfortable.”

“Yeah, I love these beds.”

“Isabel, I'm worried about my family.”

“You mean your masters?”

“Well...” Bolt was about to say he was not a purebred... but then he began to think... what if she didn't accept a mutt? “Bolt?” Isabel asked, concerned that he hadn't responded yet. “Yeah. My master. Will she be worried?”

“I don't know...” She replied.

Bolt, realizing how tired he was, began to doze off again. He was asleep within a minute.
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Hihey9989
Eruption
Eruption


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 1467
Location: Springfield, IL

PostPosted: Thu Feb 05, 2009 6:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not continuing unless I actually am aware of people reading it.
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encino
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 11, 2009 5:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nice...
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Rebekah 10
Unchained
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Joined: 13 Apr 2006
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Location: Northern Arizona

PostPosted: Tue Feb 17, 2009 8:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yes very brillently done. Please don't get discouraged I read when I get the chance probably as with everyone else who is reading this. Sourire
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