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My Grandfather passed away

 
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jarjar23
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Location: New Jersey, USA

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 12:53 am    Post subject: My Grandfather passed away Reply with quote

I was woken up this morning by the sound of my dad in the kitchen, me asleep on the sofa in the family room. I was kinda pissed at him bc I was planning on going right upstairs to sleep and he was asking me to feed the cats and was acting like a complete ass like watching me get the food out of the cans and saying ďyou see, itís not so badĒ. Then I heard the phone ring and honestly I knew what it was on the first ring...I made a good guess. I heard my dad say "Uh Oh" over and over before he answered it, which I think was sarcastic and that kinda pissed me off too. Just answer the god damn phone. So I heard him talk to Uncle Stan then came back in the kitchen and I forgot what he said...my heart was already pounding. He said something like "You know who that was" or "you know that that was about" and I was like yeah. And just to confirm it with me, I guess, my dad broke it down and said Pop died last night. And I said the typical "okayĒ.

I REALLY did feel hit by it and just went to my room, the goofy cat following me. My dad and I talked some more in the morning and laughed at a few things so it wasnít 100% solomn. But as I layed in bed, my mind was going on and on. Thinking how I wasnít as shocked as I was when Mom-Mom Mary died, cause I knew this one was coming SOON since he was in hospice.

The guilt trip started aswell. I DID visit him in the hospitol during his last 2 days of life, but he was out like a light and didnít even know I was there. Even when I KNEW he had been sick since New Years Eve, I never bothered to visit him. It wasnít because I didnít care, donít get me wrong. But at the time, I was really running away from the reality of the situation. Feeling like it was best for me to stay home and not talk about it AT ALL and be in my own little world where nothing bad can get to me. I was so nervous to visit him and honestly I donít know why. Iím not a fan of visiting sick people (honestly, WHO IS). Itís more along the lines of me not knowing how to act around them...when in reality, just my PRESSENCE can make all the difference. I finally did go visit Pop 2 days ago, accompinied by my dad. Seeing Pop the way he was laying in that bed SO skinny was such a shock to me. Like I said, he wasnít awake and my uncle did try to wake him multiple times. And itís funny, becuase my unlce had said he stopped talking the DAY I came to visit. I came back the next day by myself and my uncle had said Pop had been sleeping for about 24 hours. Then told me that he doesnít think heís gonna wake up. Which I still had a sigh of hope that maybe Iíd come back another day and heíd be awake. But you donít know what you have til itís gone.

SO MANY shoulda woulda coulda arised from all of this, especially after learning he died. Like if I was there the day before, I COULD have talked to him. But as many people say, there should be no regrets just lessons learned. But honestly how do you NOT regret something like this? I feel that Iím forever changed when it comes to visiting people who are ill and accepting the fact that itís real when itís happening. Popís dead and I still havenít accepted the fact he was that sick let alone that heís died. The progression of deteriation happened so quickly. Well, at least heís wherever his wife heíd missed so dearly for 2 years is and with his daughter aswell. He was such a character, with everything always been too much money. And his stories of the war and his un-shy say it how it is personality. Itís just sad that I think of all these things after he has died, you know?

RIP Stanley S. LaBuda
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Rebekah 10
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 4:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's ok it will take lots of time. I'm with you there when my grandma died I didn't cry actually I wasen't really that sad. Some of my cousins said that I didn't really careabout her because I didn't act depressed but that is so far from the truth. I don't know why I wasen't sad because I loved her so much maybe I was in shock or something or was like "ya she really died, ok," it took me years later for full reality to sink in that she isn't coming back. Triste

But by now I just think of her in heaven not going through wht all the rest of us are going through and much better off. That she is waiting for me.

Anyways I hope tha helped and I'm really sorry about your grandfather he sounds like an awsome guy Sourire
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Star
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Joined: 30 Mar 2006
Posts: 305
Location: Ohio

PostPosted: Sat Feb 21, 2009 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry for your loss. I know it's really hard, but try not to do the guilt trip thing. I'm sure your grandfather knew how much you loved and cared about him.

Everybody grieves differently. Some people cry buckets and some don't. When my grandma died I was sad, but I didn't break down and cry until the memorial service when my family told stories and memories about her. I couldn't even talk when it was my turn to share.

When my mom had a massive stroke I cried (at home) when she was in the hospital, but I didn't when she died. We kind of had a rocky relationship. I miss her a lot though, and think about her all the time.
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wowrashmi
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 6:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Condolences to you and your family man, and really sorry to hear bout your mum star.

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Last edited by wowrashmi on Tue Feb 24, 2009 3:25 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Cpt_Zim83
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 23, 2009 9:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My prayers go out to you and your family.
Sorry to hear about your mom ,star. Triste
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sarah
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My thoughts are with you and your families, jarjar and Star.

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Hihey9989
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PostPosted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 11:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Triste I am so sorry to hear this. Condolences go to you!!!
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ottoman
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PostPosted: Thu Feb 26, 2009 8:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I am so sorry for your loss. My condolences to you.

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Thanks to all that supported my site for 7 years, I hope to see you at my site, rocketpowerheat.tripod.com! Sourire TrŤs content
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pink fairy princess
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PostPosted: Fri Feb 27, 2009 9:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

aww I am so sorry to hear of your losses Triste and don't worry about coulda shoulda woulda the only place that gets you is more sadness so don't feel bad

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