NickDisk Reloaded Forum Index NickDisk Reloaded
Welcome to the new new NickDisk board
 
RegisterRegister
FAQFAQ SearchSearch Log inLog in
Nickdisk Reloaded fanart galleriesNickdisk Reloaded fanart galleries

Back on the market again

 
Post new topic   Reply to topic    NickDisk Reloaded Forum Index -> The Outside World
View previous topic :: View next topic  
Author Message
BeverlyHillsChick
On Fire
On Fire


Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 720

PostPosted: Sun Mar 29, 2009 9:00 pm    Post subject: Back on the market again Reply with quote

Today has literally been one of the worst days of my life.

Last night Josh and I broke up, and right now I don't know if we can even be friends.

Actually he broke up with me. He said he's not going to have any time to spend with me until about November and he doesn't think that it's fair to me to keep it going because he can't give me the attention I want and need.

We fought all last night and for awhile this morning. I told him he was making all these decisions about taking on second jobs (He decided to take on another job for this summer) and going into the Army and he never asked me what I thought or how I felt about him doing all of that. He said none of those decisions were mine to make and that they were his business. I told him that all I wanted was to be taken into consideration, and that he should've asked me how what I thought about him getting a second job and enlisting and how I felt about him doing it. I never even got asked, it was just "This is the way it's gonna be and that's that." I told him that if he really loved me he would've wanted to include me in on his decisions about his life and he would've cared about my feelings. He said he didn't want to end it with me for good, just until he got done with his summer job, and he still wants to be really great friends with me.

I also asked him why he didn't want to spend any time with me anymore. Lately it seems like I've been the one doing all the asking and giving and all he's done is take and then turn around and cancel our plans. His response? "I've been busy." So I asked him why is it that he could always seem to find time for everyone else but me. His response to that? "I have tried to find time to spend with you." That's a load of BS! If he really wanted to spend time with me he would've told his friends and family "No thanks, I really want to see my girlfriend" or "No, I've made other plans for today (or tonight)" when they asked him to do something, or he would've included me in on them.

I have been crying since about 8 PM last night. I went to bed and I could hardly sleep, and I actually started crying in my sleep and woke myself up a couple of times. I remember waking up once and thinking it was all a horrible dream, then realizing it wasn't.

The hardest part is he was the guy I could see myself being with for the rest of my life. He was the guy I dreamed about. I wanted to marry him and have a family with him. I loved him with all of my heart.

It's going to be really difficult seeing him at work when he comes back off of leave.

I'm starting to wonder if Lisa (His ex and his son's mom) is as bad as he made her out to be. From what I understand she got really upset when he wouldn't spend time with her, so maybe it wasn't that she was possessive, maybe she just wanted the same thing I did. She just wanted to see him and spend time with him and feel loved and appreciated. I just keep thinking that everything was probably 10 times worse for her because they have a kid together. I've thought of trying to befriend her and talk to her about all of this because she might understand where I'm coming from and we might actually have one thing in common. Only problem is I don't know how to do that without seeming like the only reason I want to be friends is because we broke up.

I just don't know what to do. I wanted this for so long, I got it for a couple of months and now it's gone. I feel like I'm falling apart and the pain is killing me. It's tearing me apart. My friends and family all keep telling me he's not worth all the tears and heartache, but I just can't stop thinking about him and the whole mess. It's gonna take a long time for me to get over him and start feeling better again. My mom said maybe this is just God's way of preparing me for when I do meet the right guy and maybe this was just a lesson for me. Maybe it's to show me what I want and don't want in a man, although I already knew what I wanted and what I didn't want.

I told him that when he's ready to talk to me face to face to let me know. (He broke the news to me over MySpace and we fought over text messages.)

Anyone else have any advice for me?

_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Rebekah 10
Unchained
Unchained


Joined: 13 Apr 2006
Posts: 952
Location: Northern Arizona

PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 5:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

He is not worth it if he can't even tell you that face to face. I think him breaking up with you online is 10 times worse then if it were face to face. How awful.

I mean he wouldn't even get together with you and let you know what's up.

I'm sorry if I couldn't give you better advice I'm horrible at advice giving but when you said that he broke up with you online that was like whats worse then that? Triste Its like he was too cowardly to even tell you what's wrong.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
BeverlyHillsChick
On Fire
On Fire


Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 720

PostPosted: Mon Mar 30, 2009 4:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rebekah 10 wrote:
He is not worth it if he can't even tell you that face to face. I think him breaking up with you online is 10 times worse then if it were face to face. How awful.

I mean he wouldn't even get together with you and let you know what's up.

I'm sorry if I couldn't give you better advice I'm horrible at advice giving but when you said that he broke up with you online that was like whats worse then that? Triste Its like he was too cowardly to even tell you what's wrong.


That's what I thought, too. I would've rather he told me face to face than on MySpace. If he was sick he should've waited until he got better. That just made him look like a coward and a cop-out. Maybe if he'd waited until he got better he might've changed his mind.

He texted me yesterday and said he knew I was upset and he wasn't going to talk to me until I calmed down and got it through my head that he didn't want to break it off with me. My question is if he didn't want to end it, why did he? So what if he's going to be busy this summer. If he didn't want it to end he would've figured out a way to make everything work. He could've even just talked to me about it and we could've figured it all out together. I told him I didn't want all of his time, just a little of it. I'm sure a few hours out of the week wasn't going to hurt anything, and a day together here and there wasn't going to be a big deal.

I'm still really upset and depressed. I woke up this morning and thought of him, and that made it hard to get back to sleep cuz I kept laying there thinking about him and his beautiful blue eyes and blond hair and that cute butt. And then I started feeling sick.

But I guess life goes on and one day I'll meet someone who is really worth it that will love me so much I won't be able to keep him away. I think right now I'm just gonna focus on other stuff. He snuck up on me, and the next one will, too. My sisters have all found a church they love going to, and I'm thinking that next weekend if my work schedule permits it I might go with them. They said there's lots of different groups at it and if I like going there that might be a good chance for me to widen my circle of friends if I can join a group I like. And who knows? Maybe when the time is right I might meet someone there who's really nice who'll be interested in me and will want to spend all the time he can with me.

Tonight I'm going to some kind of weight loss thing with my sister Dawn at the church. It sounds like it might be fun and maybe if I can get involved in doing something like that I can take my mind off of Josh. Who knows, if I can lose enough weight this summer I might just even be able to make him jealous and wish he hadn't broken up with me! Clin d'oeil

_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Cpt_Zim83
Good Enough
Good Enough


Joined: 05 Nov 2006
Posts: 215
Location: Upper Pennisula, MI

PostPosted: Tue Apr 14, 2009 10:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

BeverlyHillsChick wrote:
Tonight I'm going to some kind of weight loss thing with my sister Dawn at the church. It sounds like it might be fun and maybe if I can get involved in doing something like that I can take my mind off of Josh. Who knows, if I can lose enough weight this summer I might just even be able to make him jealous and wish he hadn't broken up with me! Clin d'oeil


You go girl. Clin d'oeil
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
BeverlyHillsChick
On Fire
On Fire


Joined: 22 Apr 2006
Posts: 720

PostPosted: Fri Apr 17, 2009 5:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm feeling much better now. Sourire

It's still really hard at times, though. There are times when I miss him terribly and those are the hardest because that's when I remember all the stuff we used to talk about and all the stuff we did together. I have two very favorite memories, and those are probably the hardest ones for me to have to deal with.

The first one happened about two months ago. He'd just gotten his federal tax refund back and he texted me one Friday morning and asked me if I wanted to go shopping with him down in Toledo. I was already going to see him that afternoon anyway, so I said I'd go with him.

I met him at his house about an hour later, and we took his car down there. When we were in the mall, we were walking hand-in-hand through the mall and some guy that was selling nail buffers and a bunch of other junk for your nails was there. I made the mistake of saying hi to him and we ended up getting our nails buffed and oiled while we had to stand there and listen to his sales pitch. Then, as we were getting ready to leave the mall we ended up passing some lady who wanted to sell him some makeup. What's funny is that she never even saw me! Rire

We ended up going to McDonald's for lunch when we got back in Michigan. After that came my favorite part! Sourire We got back to his house and we had the whole house to ourselves for about three hours. So what did we spend that three hours doing? (It wasn't anything dirty, I swear, although it might sound like it was! Rire ) We headed upstairs to his room where we ended up watching Hysteria: The Def Leppard Story, and falling asleep together in each other's arms on his bed. I don't remember falling asleep, but I remember we were cold and we turned down the blankets on his bed and crawled under them and snuggled up together. I remember waking up first and he had his head on my shoulder and I looked at him at he looked so peaceful and sweet laying there. I didn't want to disturb him, so I just let him sleep. I closed my eyes and just laid there and enjoyed being there.

My other favorite memory is when we went to the Nickelback concert in Detroit. That was just so much fun I didn't want the night to ever end. The best part (Besides the concert, of course!) was waiting to get in. We stood outside of Joe Louis Arena for about an hour and a half in 20-something degree weather and we were FREEZING! It gave us a really good excuse to snuggle up together, though! Clin d'oeil

He finally started talking to me on Monday of this week. We chatted on MySpace Monday night. We're still friends, but he still hasn't changed his mind. He said he doesn't want the breakup to be permanent and he really wants to get back together again, he just wants to be able to focus on work right now. I guess only time will tell if we were meant to be together. Hum...

_________________
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Display posts from previous:   
Post new topic   Reply to topic    NickDisk Reloaded Forum Index -> The Outside World All times are GMT
Page 1 of 1

 
Jump to:  
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum


Powered by phpBB © 2001, 2005 phpBB Group