Chas For President

It was early one morning and Chas was serving a customer at his Java Lava coffee shop. Kira was in the back washing dishes, and Didi was helping clean up a mess the babies had made. The babies had been very restless, and they'd wanted something to do. So they'd sneaked out of the playpen and played catch with clods of dirt from the large flower pots lining the walls. The babies were not very good catchers, so ninety-nine percent of the dirt clods landed on the floor. Now the babies were back in their playpen, with nothing to do. 
"I know what we can do!" said Kimi, "We can play with my new Funny Face Ball!" She reached into her pocket and took out an average looking ball.
"Kimi, that's just a ball," said Tommy.
"It's not just a ball," said Kimi, "Watch." She stood up and bounced the ball on the ground. With each bounce, alternating red and blue lights lit up and the ball beeped and buzzed. The babies stared at it in awe.
"Wow!" said Phil, "Can I try?" 
"Sure!" said Kimi, handing the ball to Phil. Phil bounced the ball high in the air, right out of the playpen, and into a flowerpot perched atop a high window sill. All eyes were on Phil. All eyes were angry. Phil gulped hard and looked guiltily at his friends.
"Oops," he said. Betty happened to have seen the ball bounce into the flower pot.
"What's this?" she asked as she lifted the ball from inside the pot.
"Oh," said Chas, "That's just the new toy I got for Kimi." Betty bounced the ball. The blue and red lights flashed and the ball beeped and buzzed.
"Whoa, that's a pretty fancy ball!" Betty said. Then she handed it back to the kids.
Just then, an important looking man in a shiny black business suit entered the shop.
"I would like one of everything on the menu," he said, placing a one hundred dollar bill on the counter.
"Keep the change," said the man. Chas stared at the bill for a moment then set to work fixing the coffee. When the man had finished his coffee, he rose and said,
"I am very pleased. Your coffee is delicious. What is your name sir?"
"Chas Finster," Chas answered.
"Really! So you were the husband of Melinda---my sister."
"You were Melinda's brother?" Chas gasped.
"Yes," said the man, "My name is Daniel Corper. Founder of Corper Co. But I no longer work there. I now work for the government. And I happen to know that the President will be resigning. I can help you become president. What do you say?" Chas was at loss for words. He looked to his wife. Kira nodded. He looked to his friends. They nodded. He looked at Daniel.
"Ok," he said.
"One thing," said Daniel, "Don't tell anyone about the President resigning. It's kid of a secret."

The next day, Angelica and the rugrats are playing outside...
The rugrats were building sandcastles in Chuckie's sandbox while discussing what it meant to be 'Present of the Nighted Steaks of Hairy-mud'.
"Maybe it means that you get to eat steaks and open presents at night while you're sittin' in hairy mud," Tommy suggested.
"Or maybe it means you get knights and steak and hair and mud for presents," Kimi added. Lil licked her lips.
"Mud is good presents," she said. Just then Angelica walked over to the babies.
"What are you dumb babies talking about?"
"We're trying to figure out what bein' the Present of the Nighted Stakes of Hairy-mud means," Chuckie explained, "Do you know, Angelica?"
"First of all, it's the President of the Benited States of America!" Angelica explained impatiently, "And secondly of all, it means you're in charge of the whole world! How dumb can you babies be?"
"Hmmm, that's a tough one," said Phil. Angelica growled.
"Hey, wait a minute," she said, suddenly thinking of something, "How did you babies find out about the President?"
"Cause Chuckie's dad is gonna be it!" said Lil.
"What!?" Angelica screeched, "But Chuckie's dad can't be the President! That's not fair!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 'Cause that's means I'd have to do whatever Chuckie said instead of him doing whatever I said! That can't happen! Daddyyyyyyyyyyyyy!" Angelica cried as she ran off. Chuckie just stood, letting what Angelica had just said soak in.
"Angelica will have to do whatever I say?" he could hardly believe it.
That night, at Angelica's house...
"Daddy?" Angelica addressed her father, "Will you be president instead of Chuckie's dad? Please? Pretty please?"
"What?" Drew asked, "What did you say?"
"Mr. Chuckie's dad is gonna be President, and I don't want him to be cause then I'll have to do whatever Chuckie says, but if you're President then Chuckie will have to do whatever I say!" Angelica explained.
"Chas is running for President, huh? I'm proud of him. I wish Stu could be like him," Drew muttered, "I wish I could be like him!"
"Who?" Charlotte asked as she entered the room. Drew told her.

That very next week, as Daniel had predicted, the President resigned. With Daniel as his campaign manager, Chas ran for President (using the name Charles instead of Chas, of course). Throughout the race he quickly gained much popularity, with the help of his campaign manager, naturally. Towards the end of the race, Chas was one of the two best known candidates. One night finds Chas preparing for a big speech.
"Now," Daniel reminded him, "Your chance of becoming the President depends on you doing well on this final speech. If you can say something that catches the crowd's attention, you're as good as President."
"I know," Chaz said, "That's why I'm so nervous! How do I look?" Chas gulped nervously as he straightened his plain red tie. He looked in the mirror. He was not wearing glasses. Daniel had bought him contact lenses. Daniel had also combed his hair down straight. Chas was wearing an expensive looking shiny black tuxedo. Daniel had his slick blonde hair brushed back so well that the rake marks were still visible. He wore an outfit similar to Chas's. Kira, and even Kimi and Chuckie would be appearing on stage with Chas, and all of Chas's friends and the rest of the rugrats would be watching, so they were all dressed up, too. Chuckie tugged at his tight, scratchy bowtie as he turned to his friends.
"You guys, I'm ascarded," Chuckie told his friends, "My dad's gotta go in front of a lotta peoples and say something, and if he does bad, he's not gonna be the Present of the Nighted Stakes of Hairy-mud!"
"Don't worry Chuckie," Kimi reassured her older brother, "Daddy's gonna do real good and be Present of the Nighted Stakes of Hairy-mud."
"Maybe you're right," Chuckie agreed. Just then Chas and Kira scooped them up and took them to the limousine that Daniel had lined up to take them to the speech. 
Chas was listed (as Charles Finster Sr. II) as the last to make his speech. Right before him was the candidate that was his biggest rival: Jonathon Thompson Sr. II. 
Chas sat backstage with Kira, Chuckie, and Kimi as several other men who were running for President made their long, boring speeches. Then it was Chas's turn. Chas walked nervously up to the podium, decorated with red, white, and blue ribbon. Kira, Chuckie, and Kimi followed close behind. Then Chas made his speech. When he was finished, it was time for everyone to leave.
"All we can do now," Daniel said, "is wait for the election."
"Daniel, I have a question. Why is that you and your parents have bright blonde hair when Melinda has flaming red hair?" Chas asked.
"Melinda was adopted," Daniel answered.
"Oh," Chas said.

Several weeks later the election results were out. Charles and Jonathon were tied (with more points than the other candidates) with the same amount of points! There was to be a re-election between Chas and John that very next Saturday! Chas felt like he had one hundred butterflies fluttering ariound in his stomach. He was almost sure that Jonathan would win the re-election. He knew that all of his friends would be voting for him, but that wouldn't help him very much. The rugrats knew Chas was worried, so they decided to help, too. So they grabbed some crayons and some paper. They each took a slip of paper and wrote some scribbles on it, trying to form the words "Chuckie's and Kimi's Dad". At the voting booth, the babies sneaked their pieces of paper into the slots where the ballots were to go. 
As the votes were being counted, the people counting came across the votes the rugrats had submitted. They were confused by the scribbles. This caused quite a delay. But finally they set them aside and phoned the press with their results. Chas sat at his house with Daniel and all of his friends watching the news. He hoped that this time they would have the results of the election. Finally, it was announced that Chas had won the election! Chas couldn't believe his ears! He'd won!

The next day, the families had a celebration and goodbye party for Chas (after all, he was moving to the White House). The babies sat under the table swiping food. Kimi and Chuckie looked sad.
"What's the matter, guys?" asked Tommy, "Your dad won the alickshun, shouldn't you be happy?"
"We would be if we wasn't movin'!" Chuckie said.
"What!?" Phil and Lil exclaimed.
"Now that our dad's President, we gotta move real far away to some hugegantic white house!" Kimi informed them. The babies gasped. 
"Will we ever see you again?" Tommy asked.
"I hope so," Chuckie replied.
Meanwhile, with the adults, Chas and Kira were sad, too.
"Don't be sad," Didi comforted Chas and Kira, "We will visit each summer for the whole summer." The rest of the families agreed to this. That made Chas and Kira feel a little better. The next day, Chas and the other families flew Chas's new, private limousine up to Washington DC where Chaz took the oath of office and moved into the white house. Chas's friends would be staying the weekend. Chuckie and Kimi now give there friends a tour of the white house. 
"This is my room," said Chuckie, leading them into a huge room, "Kimi's room is right next to mine."
"You and Kimi don't share a room?" Tommy asked.
"Nope," Chuckie answered. He showed the babies his room and Kimi's room then they went to the playroom.
"Wanna play my new save the world with Reptar game?" Kimi asked her friends.
"Or do you want to play with my brand new My Size Dummi Bear doll?" Chuckie asked. The babies ran around looking at all of the toys. After awhile, Chas entered the room saying, 
"Come on, kids, I'm taking you to the Executive Play Place. There should be other children who are rich, important, or government related there for you to play with." He and Kira took the kids to a huge play place. Once inside the high-security gate, Chas let the kids go play. There was a very tall slide with an elevator leading to the top, an electronic merry-go-round with a lever to set the speed, and a maze of slides and tunnels. 
"Let's go explore!" said Kimi. So the babies rushed off to the play place. First they went to the merry-go-round. The babies took a second to figure out the way it worked, but when they had, they set the speed to medium. Other kids soon joined them on the ride. One girl who looked about Angelica's age and had long black hair and a fancy dress recognized Chuckie and Kimi immediately and worked her way over to him.
"Hello," she greeted the friends, then turning to Chuckie and Kimi, "You must be Charles, the President's son. And you must be Kimberly, his daughter. I am glad to meet you both. My name is Elise Farway, the ambassador's daughter.
"Hi, Elise," Chuckie returned her greeting, "You can call me Chuckie."
"And you can call me Kimi," Kimi told her, smiling.
"And you may call me Ellie," Elise said politely, "By the way, who are these friends you have with you?"
"Oh," said Chuckie, "This is Tommy, Chuckie, Phil, Lil, and Dil."
"Why are they here? Are they rich? Are they important?" Ellie asked.
"No, they're just our friends," Kimi replied. Ellie leaned closer to them and whispered, 
"The President's kids shouldn't be hanging around with their sort. They should be friends with important or rich people, like me. So do you want to play with me and my friends?" Kimi and Chuckie whispered for a bit, then Chuckie said, 
"Ok,"
"But just for a little while," Kimi said. So they followed Ellie off the merry-go-round.
"Where you goin'?" asked Lil.
"We're gonna play with Ellie for a while," Kimi answered.
"Can we come to?" Phil asked. Chuckie was about to reply, but Ellie beat him to it.
"NO!" she said. So Kimi and Chuckie played with Ellie and her friends. They were having so much fun, they forgot about Tommy, Phil, and Lil. They were still playing with their new friends when Chas called for them.
"Sorry, guys, we gotta go," said Chuckie.
"I hope we see you again soon," said Ellie. With that Kimi and Chuckie left. They felt a pang of guilt when they saw their other friends. 
"Why didn't you come back and play with us?" Tommy asked.
"You said you were only going to play with Ellie for a little while," Lil reminded them.
"Sorry," said Kimi and Chuckie at the same time.

The next day, Tommy, Dil, Phil, and Lil had to go. Chuckie and Kimi sadly waved goodbye to their friends, wishing their lives were back to normal. 
"So, you wanna play with some of our new toys?" Kimi asked her brother as they walked back to their rooms. 
"No," Chuckie replied glumly.
"Wait!" said Kimi, "We can play with my Funny Face Ball!" she rushed to the playroom and back with custom made dolls resembling their friends that Chas had bought for them. Kimi threw the ball at the doll resembling Tommy. It bounced off his arm over to Chuckie.
"Uh, good throw, Tommy," Chuckie said, and he could almost hear his best friend answering,
"Thanks, Chuckie!"
"You're welcome," Chuckie whispered.
"Who are you talking to?" asked Kimi.
"Oh, no one," Chuckie replied, absent mindedly. Soon it was time for bed. Chuckie wished he could sleep with Kimi. He was scared of being in new and different places at night. So he grabbed all of his favorite brand-new stuffed animals. Bell the Bunny, Sam Squirrel, and Parakeet Pat. Was he forgetting anyone? Chuckie had the strange feeling their was someone he was forgetting. But he couldn't remember who. As he laid his head down on the pillow, it came to him. Wawa! How could he forget Wawa?! Chuckie leaped from his bed and rushed to the stuffed animal pile.
"Where's Wawa, where's Wawa?" He cried as he pushed aside mountains of stuffed animals. He finally spotted the old bear.
"Sorry Wawa," Chuckie said to the toy. Then he climbed back into his bed. It was then that he saw something that he hadn't noticed before. A blue box with a green button. Chuckie pressed the button.
"I wonder what this thing is?" he wondered out loud. Then he heard a voice come out of the box. It said,
"Chuckie, is that you?" Chuckie recognized that voice! It was Kimi!
"Kimi?" he said to the box.
"Hi Chuckie!" Kimi squeaked, "I guess this box lets us talk to each other!"
"Good," Chuckie sighed with relief, "cause I was startin' to get kinda scared."

Meanwhile in Stu's big van on the way back to California...
Tommy, Phil, and Lil were sitting in the upstairs part of Stu's van. Dil was in his baby seat below. The families had departed from Washington very late, so it was already midnight, but the rugrats were not the least bit sleepy.
"I'm gonna miss Chuckie and Kimi," said Tommy, "I wonder when their dad's gonna stop bein' the Present of the Nighted Stakes of Hairy-mud?"
"Yeah," Phil agreed, "Chuckie and Kimi's dad bein' in charge of the world doesn't sound so great if Chuckie and Kimi is gonna live a bazilliondy miles away!"
"And they don't even wanna plays with us anymore! They just wanna plays with other babies like them!" said Lil angrily, remembering what had happened at the park.

One year later...
It was summer and time for the rugrats to visit Chuckie and Kimi again. So they set off in Stu's van.
At the white house, Kira told her children the news.
"Kimi, Chuckie," she said, "Today your old friends, Tommy, Phil, Lil, Dil, Angelica, and Susie are coming to visit you for a few months!"
"I don't 'member them," said Chuckie, who now three and could talk to grown ups.
"You'll remember when you see them," Kira told him. Just then Chas entered the room.
"Daddy!" Kimi cried, "Daddy play!" These were the only two words two-and-a-half-year-old Kimi knew.
"Not now sweetie," said Chas," Daddy is very busy. But your friends are coming and you can play with them." Just then the doorbell rang.
"Oh, that must be them now!" said Kira, answering the door. And it was the Pickles, the Devilles and the Carmichaels. Dil, Phil, Lil, and Tommy rushed over to Chuckie and Kimi.
"Chuckie! Kimi!" Tommy cried happily. Tommy was now two and could say one word to adults: Ball. Tommy wore a blue and yellow stripped shirt and green shorts. He also had a touch of bluish-purple hair.
"Do you member us?" asked Phil and Lil. Phil and Lil were now two and a half (like Kimi) and had fully grown hair. Lil's was long and held back in a pony tail while Phil's was rather short but very messy. Phil and Lil could each say one word. Phil: eat, Lil: mud. Lil wore a pink shirt with a green skirt. The shirt had a small yellow duck on it. Phil had a blue shirt with a duck on it and green pants. 
Chuckie and Kimi looked different, too. Kimi had her hair down and wore a lacy, yellow dress and purple tights. The dress had the face of a small kitty sewn on the left sleeve. Chuckie's hair was considerably shorter and well combed. He had on an indigo shirt with a dark green vest. Also, he was wearing maroon corduroys, and his shiny black shoes were tied.
"I think I remember you," he said, "That's Tommy..." He pointed to Dil.
"No, I'm Dil," said Dil, "That's Tommy!" He pointed to his older brother.
"But you can't be Dil!" said Kimi, "Dil can't talk yet!"
"He can now," said Lil.
"He's a year old," Phil added. Then Angelica walked over. She had on a non-sleeve green and blue polka dot shirt, and a pair of red shorts. Her hair was back in a pony tail with a purple scrunchy. 
"Hey, Finster, just because you're the presidents kid doesn't mean you don't have to do everything I say!" she said, "And that goes for you, too, Kimi!" At this Chuckie stepped forward.
"That's not true Angelica!" said Chuckie, fearlessly, "Now that I'm three, I can talk to growed ups! I'll just tell on you if you do anything mean to us!" By now, five-year-old Angelica was boiling with anger.
"WELL YOU'RE STILL GONNA DO EVERYTHING I SAY!!!!!!!!" she exploded.
"No, we're not," said Chuckie coolly. At that time, Susie walked over. Susie had her hair in a single braid. She was wearing a sleeveless yellow dress with a red flower in the center and purple flip-flops.
"Hi, Chuckie, hi, Kimi!' she said, "It's me, Susie! Do you remember me?" Both Kimi and Chuckie remembered Susie. After Chuckie and Kimi had spent some time with their old friends, they decided to play a joke on the adults. They huddled and whispered their plan to each other. Then, Tommy grabbed his ball from his bag.
"Daddy!" Kimi squealed. The adults turned toward the babies.
"Daddy play..." Kimi began.
"...ball!" Tommy completed the sentence.
"Amazing!" said Didi.
"It seems they are trying to communicate with us!" Kira said.
"But how could their under-developed brains formulate such a complex plan requiring so much brain capacity to comprehend, especially for children of their young age? This is a concept they should not be familiar with until they are four or five!" Charlotte wondered. 
"Beats me," Betty said. When the adults had left the babies off in the playroom, they laughed and laughed. 
"So, who wants to play with my talking Happy Bear?" Chuckie asked.
"I do!" said Dil.
"Me too!" said Phil and Lil together.
"Yeah!" said Tommy. Angelica and Susie played with their Cynthia dolls. Chaz soon came to take the kids to the Executive Play Place. There, the children set off to the tall slide first. The elevator would hold four babies at a time. Kimi, Chuckie, Tommy and Dil went first. At the top they waited while Phil, Lil, Angelica, and Susie followed. Angelica went down the slide first. When she got to the bottom, Susie went down. Then Dil. While Dil was sliding to the bottom, Ellie and three other kids were riding to the top. When Ellie saw Chuckie with the others, she remembered the day a year ago, when she first met Chuckie. She now had her hair in a bun, tied with a peach ribbon. She wore an even fancier dress than before. This one was pink and white. 
"Do you like my dress?" she asked, "It's brand new!" Then she and her friends pulled Chuckie and Kimi aside.
"Chuckie, Kimi!" Ellie whispered, "What did I warn you about playing with their sort?" At that time, Kimi became furious. But she tried not to show it.
"Elise Farway," she said calmly, "We can play with you any time. But our other friends --- friends at least Chuckie has known since he was born --- we can only play with them in the summer. And we are going to make this summer the best summer ever ... by spending it with our friends. And if our friends aren't good enough for you, then you're not good enough for us. We can play with you when they leave!" Ellie looked shocked. The rugrats went down the slide. The next day they went to the park again. There Ellie stopped to speak with Kimi and Chuckie once more.
"Kimi, you know, uh, what you said yesterday, I, well, I, um, guess you're, uh, kinda right. So you and you friends can play with me and my friends. Do you forgive me?"
"Sure!" said Chuckie and Kimi. Well, the summer passed and Chuckie and Kimi's friends had to leave. Years passed and Chas was no longer President. By this time, Kimi was four, and Chuckie was five. They drove home to see their friends again. After that, they were just normal kids who went to a normal preschool and had normal friends.

Epilogue:
Ten years later Chuckie became President, just like his dad. And also like his dad, his arch rival in the campaign was Jonathon Thompson Sr. III (or Mr. Thompson), Jonathon Thompson Sr. II's son.
"I always knew you could do it," Chas said after the election, "It runs in the family!"

By Birch